"A lot of things aren't worth doing, but almost anything is worth telling."
Ursula K. LeGuin, "Shroedinger's Cat"

Friday, December 14, 2012

Psychic Celebrity Stalker

The ugly truth is that I often come across as creepy.  I don't mean to be creepy.  I don't try to be creepy.  But I have creeped out more than my fair share of people in my time.  Even my good friends sometimes find me creepy.  The morning after spending the night over at my friends' place, I quietly made my way to the master bedroom to see if my friend was ready to go.  We were planning to drive into work together since we worked in the same building downtown.  I was being quiet because I didn't want to wake up his wife or his son who slept in his parents' room.  But when my friend walked out and was startled by my presence, he accused me of "lurking" in the hallway.
Another episdode of "creepy" happened while I was living in Hollywood.  I was looking around my local video store when I saw a guy wearing a baseball cap.  I was sure that I'd seen him before, and so I just kept staring at him 'cuz I knew if I only stared at him hard enough, then it would come to me.  (Actually, at the time, I didn't realize I was staring, being too caught up in my thoughts at trying to remember who he was.)  Anyway, I finally placed his face.  It turns out it was Eddie Kaye Thomas, the actor who plays "Finch" in the American Pie series of films, whom I didn't know personally and only recognized from his movies.

After staring at this poor man for heaven knows how long (creepy), we ended up leaving the store at about the same time, and I think I gave him a weak, nervous smile as is my way.  (Again, creepy...)  I got into my car and got ready to leave when I heard him tear out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.  I realized later that he must have been thinking, "I've got to get the fuck out of here before this nut job adds me to the 'collection' in his basement!"  At the time I didn't think much of anything about it and went along my merry way.  On my way home, I stopped by my local mini-mart, and guess who happened to be walking out of the store as I was heading in?  I figured he was thinking that I had planted some kind of tracking device on him, and I'll bet he activated all of his security when he got home that night.

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